Close Your Eyes
by Foolinq Love
Summary: Spike has to deal with his love for Buffy. And her love for Angel. Please read and review.
1. So Not a Preteen Thing

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"Close Your Eyes"

By; Foolinq Love

The room was dark. The air was moist and hung low against the two bodies hidden under the sweat filled sheets. Her emerald orbs gazed up into his as he breathed down against her naked body. His heart beat rapidly. She looked up at him, lovingly, pleased with their situation. As he collapsed next to her, his hand fell to her stomach. He rubbed it softly. "And soon, we're going to have a little one running around here." He kissed her on the forehead before taking her hand within his. "My beautiful wife." As he rubbed her hand, she laid her head down against her chest. She closed her eyes.

"Mmm. . .I love you Angel."

Buffy sat up and glanced around the room. The living room. Looking at the chair to her side, she noticed how Spike watched her intently. He slowly shook his head and rubbed his eyes, noticing she was awake. He smirked at her and leaned back. " 'Ello Slayer. Have fun tonight?" The Slayer ran a hand through her blonde tresses, swinging her legs down. Giving him a shrug, she continued to look around.

"Ah, you know how it is. Ten little teenage girls shrieking in a graveyard. They're all afraid. Can't blame 'em though. They just found out they could be fighting demons and vampires until the day they die. And not to mention the impending war with the First and the threat of them getting killed by long, pointy knives." 

Spike nodded in agreement. They were all scared of what was to come. What would happen next. He was scared too. "Are you afraid Love?" His accent added to the husky tone of his whisper. He leaned forward, resting his bent elbows on his knees; his hands fell together. His crystal orbs gazing over the Slayer's body. Her golden locks hung easily against the shoulders of her white turtleneck. A pair of black leather pants wrapped around her bottom half, ending in a pair of black boots. He rubbed his thumbs together, looking her over again and again, remembering why he loved her so much. Why he did all the crazy things he did for her.

The Slayer looked down, almost ashamed of what she was about to say. "Yeah I am, but I can't be. I'm the leader." She looked up at him, her emerald orbs casting an innocent stare. "I'm supposed to be strong and fearless. Lead everyone into victory. But I'm afraid I'm going to die Spike. The fearless leader isn't supposed to be scared of dying. I'm supposed to be the rock. And I'm not doing a good job of it." A silent tear fell down her cheek. She was truly afraid of what was to become of her.

The vampire smirked at her. "Love, you can be afraid. There's no rule that says you're not allowed to fear. You can feel things. Being the Slayer doesn't disable you to feel. You feel love for Dawn and all your friends. You feel happy when you're around them. That means you can feel bad feelings too. You always said there was no Slayer handbook, so why think you can't feel? No where does it say you can't feel things." He tried. Oh, he always tried to make things bright and clear for her, give her advice, and be there for her. Not like she noticed his attempts to be her one and only man. But this, right now, was good. The two of them, together and he was giving her advice on being a Slayer. 

He glanced upstairs; they were all asleep. Buffy swallowed hard and fiercely wiped away the tear. "But if I'm afraid, what does that show them? I can't show it Spike. I have to be there for everyone. For Dawn, Willow. . . and Xander." She paused, looking over him. "For myself and. . .you." She ran her hands through her hair and softly began to chuckle. "But clearly, I'm not doing a good job of that. You're sitting here telling me it's all going to be fine and dandy. You're the one being the rock; not me." More tears began to fall down from her eyes. Her head collapsed in her hands as the tears raged on. 

The vampire rose from his seat and moved over to her. Sitting down, her placed a hand on her bent back, rubbing it gently. He looked down at her. He let out a soothing hiss. "It's okay Pet. We all know you're much better at this speech thing than me." She looked up at him, gently smiling. She leaned her head on his shoulder. The platinum blonde vampire wrapped an arm around the Slayer as he continued. "You give everyone those speeches. You tell them how it's going to be. When you give your speeches, you speak the truth and you look as if you're unafraid of what's next. Buffy, you're there for us all. If it weren't for you, I'd still be that silly wimp I became after I got my soul back. And Red wouldn't be able to control her black magic. Love, you're there for us enough. It's just sometimes, you need someone to be there for you."

Buffy nodded and looked up into Spike's eyes. Sometimes, he could be good and caring. She noticed how he looked down at her. His eyes; they were full of love. She'd see how he'd stare at her in the hall or the way he'd try and behave around her. She noticed it. She noticed all of it actually, but she never said anything. It'd be too odd to confront it again with all this going on. But she couldn't deny there wasn't something going on between them. There was tension and tons of it. There was something about him she desired to have for her own. To love and hold, for her only. She wondered if she was as easy to read as he was. Or if anyone else could see what went on in his eyes as he looked at her. She hoped not.

After that dream about Angel, she was confused. Why shouldn't she be confused? She had a dream a vampire was breathing, his heart was beating, and he was boinking her. Three things Angel clearly couldn't do. She loved Angel, she always would. And those feelings for Spike swimming around in her blood weren't exactly clearing the picture up. But like Spike said, "Love isn't brains." You can't choose who you fall in love with. The Slayer had figured that out when she fell in love with Angel. Vampire and Slayer relationships were now her thing. What a grand thing to have.

The Slayer leaned towards Spike, her tiers open. Spike moved closer to her, knowing what was about to happen. He could feel it. He felt her warm breath against him; it sent a shiver through his skin. He was about to move closer when he heard that cough. He closed his eyes as Buffy scooted back away from him, to the opposite side of the couch. "Yeah Spike, thanks for that. I needed it." The Slayer looked up and so did the vampire after he opened his eyes. It was Xander. '_Oh joy, the Whelp,' _thought Spike. Xander moved down the stairs and sat down on the chair Spike once remained at. 

"Couldn't sleep. You know how it is Buffy," Xander said bitterly. He glared at Spike, his eyes piercing through him like a stake. Buffy nodded. Her eyes were wandering all over the room. Surely Xander had seen the two about to kiss. An awkward silence flooded the air in which they sat. Spike leaned back on the couch and took an un-needed breath of air. A yawn expelled from Buffy's tiers as Xander coughed. "I guess I'm going to go read one of Andrew's comics. He has connections. So that means he has an awesome collection." He stood up and slowly walked upstairs, back into the world of Potentials. 

Spike looked at Buffy, then at the floor. He felt like a preteen for all this nonsense. If he could have, he would probably be blushing. The Slayer did that type of thing to him all the time. He doubted she knew. He looked back up at her and noticed how she immediately looked down at the floor. It was odd now. That feeling between them had grown completely weird. The vampire sighed. "Pet, you don't have to act like such a soddin' preteen about it. We were about to kiss and then Whelp caught us. It's not that bad." That sure made her look up at him. She rolled her eyes at him and stood up. She walked over to the staircase, putting her hand on the rail.

She looked over at Spike, almost smirking. "I'm going to bed. You should too Mr. It's Not a Big Deal." She began to walk up the stairs, but paused again. She leaned over the railing, looking down at him. This time, she was smirking. "You could join me if you think that wouldn't be too preteen for you." The vampire turned off the light and ran up to her as she finished walking up the stairs. He followed her like a puppy to her room. She opened the door and walked into the empty room. Spike followed and closed the door silently behind him. 

The Slayer turned on the light before sitting down on the bed. She pulled off her boots and looked at him. "Did you get blood today?" Grabbing a shirt on the bed, she stood up and walked over to her closet. She turned to face it. She pulled off her turtleneck and then her bra, leaving them on the floor. She slipped on the shirt she carried over there. She slipped off the pants and put on a pair of cotton pajama bottoms that lay over there. She walked back to the bed and sat down. 

"No. Giles had me doing research most of the night and then Andrew began to explain his bleeding Dungeon game." He peeled off his duster and flung it over a chair. He then sat down next to her and pulled off his boots. 

Buffy reached over and turned off the light. She scooted to the other side and lay down. Spike lay down next to her. He put his hands on his chest and looked over at her. Buffy looked at him. It was odd for him to lay next to her. Though sometimes it had to be done in the full house. He needed a nice place to rest at times too. And she had been awfully rough on him during demonstration time earlier in the day. "Good night Spike." She closed her eyes. And just after she fell asleep, Spike pulled a blanket over her shivering body. And then placed a kiss on her forehead. 

"Night Slayer."


	2. Two Points for Spike

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"Close Your Eyes."

By; Foolinq Love

The sun was beating down through the blinds upon her. The light poked its way into her eyes, causing her to finally give up trying to sleep and just get up. She opened her emerald orbs and looked over to her side. It was empty. Like she really thought he'd still be there. The girls would talk. They always talked. She pushed the blanket off her and got out of bed. She grabbed her robe and slipped it over her tank top. She walked over to the door and suddenly, he popped into her view. He looked down at her. His crystal orbs softening at the sight of her. "Morning. They're in the basement, working out. Willow and Xander went to the store and Dawn's over at a friend's house. Anya and Giles are researching spells for the First. And Andrew's baking." Buffy gave him a nod. Why hadn't he been there when she woke up? The sun bursting through the openings on the blinds was a guess. Or was it because of her? She began to fret within her mind. She stopped herself, noticing his gaze of confusion. She needed to stop worrying if Spike liked her or not. It didn't matter to her. No. It didn't.

The Slayer nodded again. "Is the bathroom open?" Spike smiled down at her. There she was. He felt like wrapping her in his arms and kissing her madly. That's what he wanted to do. Place sweet kisses all over her warm skin and then make love to her. Sure, they had had sex before, but they had never made love. That's what he wanted to do to her. He gave her nod, answering her question. His eyes wound around her curvy body. He wanted to love her and for her to love him back. Ah, well, he knew she wouldn't allow it. She never would. So why did he bother?

"Yes it is Pet. You're lucky. Red wanted to go in and take a shower, but it was full of girls screaming about their hair. You should have been up to yell at them how hair doesn't matter." He gave a firm nod before leaning his head against the doorframe. He watched her with all his might. She'd never understand how he felt. Nobody could. The feeling was so powerful and magically. It was the best feeling to have in your heart. He didn't know how people could survive without it. Love was a grand feeling. And when a person lost the object of their affection, love made them do crazy things. Just look at Red. Love was such a powerful force. It what was making him stare at the Slayer and what made him kiss her on the forehead the previous night. Oh yes, love made him do everything. 

Buffy chuckled softly and shook her head. "Hair is important. I'm girl. Girls like their hair." She made a fist and slapped her chest. "Boy like penis. Girl like hair." Dropping her fist to her side, she shrugged. "It's very cavemen-ish." Spike grinned at her. Despite being the Slayer, she still was a girl. She had that driving, demon-like forced within, but she was only a girl. A girl who felt love, fear, and pain. A girl who loved her hair. And, the girl he loved. 

"Yeah, I see how it is." He smirked at her and slowly licked his tiers. He spoke in a low, husky tone. "Is my penis still important even though there's an impending war with the First?" 

The Slayer rolled her eyes and pushed him, making her way to the bathroom. Spike held his hands up in an innocent fashion. "What'd I do now Slayer? Why can't I do anything right with you? You're a soddin' bitch, ya know that? I just. . . can't believe you! Ugh! Bleeding women put me through hell. We live on a soddin' Hellmouth! Can't you be a tad nicer? God! I hate women!" he screamed. Buffy just ignored him and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. A few minutes later, Spike heard the shower and he went downstairs. He smelt something. . . good coming from the kitchen. He went in there and jumped up on the counter. The counter where he used to sit as he heard Joyce's stories. Bleeding hell he missed the women. He looked at Andrew. "What's in the oven?"

Andrew grinned at the vampire, pleased someone paid attention to his newest hobby. Nobody had really showed interest in his fling with poster making, gluing things, or the movie making. But this was something people could relate to. Bake goods. "Cookies. Chocolate chip cookies. They're really good. I made them from scratch. That makes them even better than the ones that you plop down from the little squares or even the cutting ones. See, those are really gross, but the ones from scratch are really good." He smiled again and put on the oven mitts. He opened the oven and pulled out the tray. He closed the oven with his back and pulled out the spatula. He plopped them down on the wax paper, humming. Once he was finished, he put more batter on the baking sheet and sent it back into the oven. He pulled off the mitts and picked up a cookie, handing it over to Spike.

Spike grabbed the cookie from his hand and took a bite. He nodded as he chewed. This was actually good. Once finished chewing, he spoke. "That's actually good." Andrew beamed with pride. Spike finished his cookie just as Dawn stormed inside. She didn't even say hi to him. She ignored him, floating past him to the cookies. It killed him when she ignored him. They had been friends and he had cared for her. He made her feel safe and now, she cared more about the cookies. He didn't just care for Dawn because of Buffy. No, he loved Dawn because he just did. She was the closest thing he had to a sister. Or even a daughter. He truly loved her and she had loved him too. Then, suddenly she had ignored him; no more chatting away to Spike. It burned, but he never said anything. He never spoke a word of the pain he felt as Dawn blew him off. He just let the pain riot within him.

"Ooo," she squealed, "cookies!" Dawn picked up a cookie and took a bite. "Good job Andrew." She bounced over to the cabinet and took out a glass. After setting it down on the counter next to Spike, she got the milk. She poured herself a glass and returned the carton. She took a sip of the milk, finishing off the cookie. "Have fun over at your friend's house Dawn?" Spike asked softly. He was going to try and talk to her again. The pain wasn't doing him any good. Dawn gave him a blank stare. She swallowed the items in her mouth and nodded. "Yeah," she responded. It wasn't much, but it was something. "What'd you two do?" "Chilled. We listened to music and talked about boys." Dawn grabbed another cookie and ate it with the rest of her milk. "Why'd you only stay for an hour?" Dawn shrugged. "She's going to her grandma's house for the weekend and she wanted to chill before. She likes some other new guy. He's a total loser." So what was the point in talking to her?

She put the empty glass in the sink and began to walk off. She paused and looked over at the vampire. "I'm going to help Giles and Anya now. It was cool talking to you again though." She offered him a small smile before leaving. Spike smirked. He was sure pleased with himself. At least one of the Summers sisters liked him. Andrew quirked a brow at him and checked on his cookies. Buffy hopped into the room. Her hair hung down. She wore a sexy, black, silky shirt and a pair of jeans. She was barefoot as well. She saw the cookies and grinned.

"Ooo," she squealed, "cookies!" She picked up a cookie and took a bite. "Mmm. . . Andrew made good cookies." Spike rolled his eyes. The two sisters were more alike then they'd like to think.

The Slayer finished off the cookie and looked over at Spike. "Did you try one of these? They're fantastic." Andrew smiled before pushing a few on a plate. He didn't need to explain his absence, the two of them wouldn't notice. He followed in Dawn's path to Giles and Anya, they'd want some of his fantastic cookies too. Buffy looked at the vampire. "These are seriously good. Not like the ones I make. You know the kind were they come in little squares and you peel 'em off? Yeah, these are better." She was rambling. He smirked at her. She always seemed to do that. It was oddly sexy to the vampire. A lot of things were oddly sexy to the vampire. Especially all of Buffy's odd little quirks. 

Without receiving an answer from the zoning vampire, Buffy picked up another cookie and took a bit. She walked over to him and broke off a piece. "Open." He did as he was told and opened his mouth. The part of the cookie was held between her index finger and thumb. She moved it to his mouth and he closed his lips, pulling it in with the help of his tongue. The Slayer let her hand fall. She took another bite of her cookie. "See what I mean?" she asked as Spike swallowed the cookie. He smiled at her and nodded. The Slayer pointed off in the direction Andrew and Dawn had gone off. "I'm going to go help Giles." She took the last bite of the cookie. She swallowed and looked at him. "And Spike." Spike looked over at her. 

"Hmm Slayer?" he responded casually. 

"It is important," she said with a smirk before walking away. The vampire leaned back and grinned. Score two for Spike. 


	3. Finally His Girl

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"Close Your Eyes"

By; Foolinq Love

A petite figure arose from the darkness and moved up the porch. She opened the door and stepped into the house. The room was dark, just like the blanket of darkness that enveloped the streets of Sunnydale. The Slayer put down the brown bag she carried in her hands. She slowly pulled off her coat, hanging it upon the hook that hung next to the door. She once again picked up the bag and walked into the kitchen. Flicking on the light, she saw Spike sitting on the counter, eating a cookie. She held up the bag. "I got you some blood. Since Giles had you buried under seven feet of books tonight." She walked over to the fridge and put it in. She sat on the middle counter and looked at him. She tried so hard to be nice without actually being nice. This was proof she did have feelings for him. 

The platinum blond vampire gave a simple nod. "Yeah, thanks Slayer." What else was there to say to her? Spike took the finally bite of his cookie. "The Potentials loved the cookies. Ate 'em all up. Geek boy made some more for you since you loved 'em so much. I got a cookie too." He smirked and looked at her again. She looked. . . worried almost. He quirked a brow. "What's wrong Pet? You look like you're worried about something." Buffy just shook her head and looked uneasily around the room. She was indeed worried and the vampire could tell. "No Pet, something's up. Tell Old Spikey about it."

The Slayer smiled at him, pulling a knee up to her chest. She rested an arm on it and began. "I'm just confused. It's not really something the two of us should be talking about. You wouldn't understand. Not your thing." She shrugged it off; hoping he'd move along to a new topic. She ran her hands through her wavy tresses that hung down against her hair. She was wearing the same thing she wore earlier in the day, except now her feet were clad in black boots. She glanced over at Spike, he was leaning forward with that smirk on his face.

"Try me."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. I think I'm starting to have feelings for you and it's not right. There's something here. It can't be. Last night, I remember we cuddled. What if the girls saw? How could they respect me knowing I cuddled with a vampire? And when I see you, I feel good. When you're around, I feel good. And last night, I didn't dream about Angel again, I dreamt about you. You and me. An us; together on the beach doing odd things." Spike's smirk faded. Wow, things had changed. The Slayer stood there, telling **him** about a dream **she** had about him. Yeah, they had definitely changed.

Spike blinked a few times, wondering if he'd suddenly wake up in the Slayer's bed, alone. But alas, no, he didn't. "You have feelings for me?" he asked innocently. He was now a young boy in grade school, holding his lunchbox. His knees buckling below his shocked face. His crystal orbs took a new gaze after her speech. His rough exterior was dropped. Those wolf clothes he wore constantly were dropped and his true nature showed. He was still innocent William only searching for love. He was still trembling at the sight of her with that notepad in his digits. 

Buffy nodded slowly. "I guess I do." She looked down at the ground, glancing up at him occasionally. It was harder than it seemed to tell him she had those crazy feelings for him. She didn't know how they got there in the first place. She took in a deep breath of air, unsure of what was going to happen next. "And I know that you have feelings for me too. That's what makes mine so much easier to show up suddenly." She wished he'd stop loving her and stop showing his affection for her. It drove her mad because feelings arose between them. Maybe it was because they were put into a situation where nothing but feelings could pop up. In the workplace, feelings are going to show up. They always seemed to.

"And what do you plan to do with these feelings? Do you except them just to skip bleeding away after you confront them? Slayer, they're not going to do that; they won't ever do that. They'll stay there forever. They'll grow and become more intense than you ever wanted. They're not a cup of soddin' tea like your feelings for Angel were. These ones hurt. And they're going to hurt a lot less for you than they did for me because you had Angel. You'll always have him." At the first mention of Angel's name, Buffy's orbs fell to the floor. Why'd he have to bring him up now? During their moment of discussing their feelings for one another. He just couldn't. Wasn't there some sort of rule forbidding that?

"I thought you'd know what to do Spike. We have feelings for each other. You should know what to do now. It's really all up to you. And stop bringing Angel into all this. He has nothing to do with this. Nothing. So stop bringing him up. I have feelings for you. Now and here. There's no Angel here Spike." She stood up and walked over to Spike, putting a hand on his cheek. The moment her skin touched his cool cheek, a shiver was sent through her body, straight to her spine. She looked into his eyes. "This is between you and me. Nobody else." 

Spike looked at her. "Are you trying to suggest with start being together?" He watched for her response. And he got a simple nod of the head. He smiled and pulled her in his arms. Pushing his cold tiers to her's, he began to lightly kiss her, moving his lips with her's. The Slayer wound her arms around him as they kissed softly and gently. It was the coming together of a vampire and the Slayer. A sad, simple ritual that would more than likely would always fail under the pressures of both jobs or the pressures of actually being together. Things seemed simple as they kissed and shared their joy and affection for one another, but it really wasn't going to be that way. 

The Slayer pulled back from the vampire. If they were going to do this, it couldn't be known. The Potentials wouldn't have the same respect for the Slayer if they knew she was dating a vampire. Buffy looked into Spike's crystal orbs. "This. . . nobody can know about. Nobody. Not Willow, not Xander, not Dawn, and none of the girls. And none of your little friends. Okay?" Spike blankly looked down at her. What was she talking about? Not talk about being with the Slayer to anyone. He couldn't do that. He wanted to shout it to the world; tell everyone. The Slayer was his girl now. 

"What? Why the bleeding hell not Slayer? You're mine now and I want to tell the world." He did that smirk of his, hoping she'd fall to her knees at the sight of it. But, she didn't. She just stood there, almost glaring at him. He hung his head. "Yeah, yeah. I know. 'Nobody will respect you.'" He rolled his eyes and continued, "I suppose I can bit my lip and not tell anyone. I promise I'll keep my gob shut. Vampire's honor." He held up two fingers and then pushed them down as if they were fangs. The Slayer rolled her eyes and walked away from the vampire. "Hey! Wait! You can't walk away from me."

She looked back at him. "Yes I can." She continued on her path, leaving the vampire alone. Well, all the better. Now, he could bask in his glory of finally nabbing the Slayer as his own. He leaned back against the cabinets, grinning. Yeah, the Slayer was his; all his. Things were truly going his way. For once, things were going his way and it was good. Unlife was good now. Finally, it was all good and grand. He nodded; yeah, it was the best. He jumped off the counter and went into the living room. There was the Slayer standing by the window, alone. He went up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. 

She placed her hands atop his and leaned her head back. He kissed her cheek softly. He didn't need to speak now. He knew exactly what she was looking at and she knew it also. She was looking at how peaceful it seemed outside on the lawn. No demons or vampires fighting. It was quiet outside for once. It was an eerie silence before the noise started, but it was a silence to keep you on your feet. Any second, that big boom could go off and the fight would start. Not actually, but the fight was about to start soon and they all could tell. The Slayer rubbed his hand. At least Spike had something to be happy about during the impending battle with the First. Wasn't that all that mattered?


End file.
